Almostsane1....I have 2 Contour2 DVRs connected to a Sony and Samsung TV. The remotes to both work within a second or two of pressing. As CurtB pointed out, the links he posted and others have discussed some solutions and issues. There have been times, previously for me, when the response was terrible...like 10 or more seconds, but response returned to Good a few hours or maybe a day. I believe that COX on their side makes a fix. If it persists, email or give them a call.
I have the voice activated Remote (XR11-RF, version 1.-) paired with a XG1-A DVR (2pbm Record). This is unit is not Wireless. The fast fwd/bck works on previously recorded shows, and I was able to make the page up/down buttons to do a 30sec/15sec jump (there are links in this forum for this great feature). Also, if you go to the Gear Settings, scroll to About...you will see the Remote battery level shown and the version of firmware...mine is 107.00, dated 1/6/20 at 8:55am. This was at 106.1.1 on 12/10/19...so COX does update, of course, you never get any indication as to when unless you check.
Finally, LisaH implied you need a direct line of sight...I find that I can work the remote while it is behind my back....but probably within a reasonable distance. Don't give up!